he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
