in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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