jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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