sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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