you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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