I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
