She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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