I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
