I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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