yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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