Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
