Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
