Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
