im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
