Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
