I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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