You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
