Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
