She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My ass is underappreciated
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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