dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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