Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i drank out of a bidet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
