So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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