I love black thongs
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
