I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
