I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
