Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ketchup is God's man juice
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
