mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
