Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
