If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
