god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
