So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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