It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
there is glitter all over my balls
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
