my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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