Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
