so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
