So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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