His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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