i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
