Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
