I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
