"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
