i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
