loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
