you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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