I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
