Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
