we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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