He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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