what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
