I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
well you can't waste a boner
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
